Giving Counselling Another Chance

I didn’t use to believe in counselling. And if it weren’t for my SOS counsellor, I probably still wouldn’t believe in it today. In fact, if I hadn’t met my counsellor, I might not even have been here today at all.

The first time I went for counselling was when I was in secondary school. I remember how I ran out of class one day because I really needed to talk to somebody, so I knocked on the school counsellor’s door, and thankfully she was there. She sat me down and we started chatting. But afterwards, I walked out and never went back again. Back then, I felt like I could say whatever I wanted, maybe because I was still young. As I got older, I realised that the things I was going through were quite sensitive, and it would have put me in a very vulnerable position if I opened up to the wrong person. I found it harder and harder to trust people.

At the same time, I always felt that my problems were trivial compared to people who were facing much bigger issues. But things started taking a toll. I went through toxic relationships, lost my job, became addicted to gaming as a way to cope and ended up losing a substantial amount of my savings, and everything started stacking up. My suicidal thoughts became louder, and eventually I attempted to end my life.

After reaching a breaking point, I finally turned to my sister to help me look for a solution. She connected me with two separate counsellors, but after each call, I was left feeling like they didn’t bother getting to know me, it just wasn’t the right fit. Shortly after, I attempted suicide again—I was completely exhausted, and I couldn’t think anymore.

And then, on that very same night, a counsellor from SOS called. I didn’t know who she was, as my sister contacted her first. But I ended up talking to her for over an hour. What immediately struck me was that my counsellor never rushed me. She was very patient and listened to what I had to say. That’s what made me realise that maybe there is something different this time.

I started going for regular counselling sessions with her. She taught me how to better control my emotions when I find myself getting stressed out, by moving away from whoever or whatever is making me upset and taking a moment with a cold drink to help calm myself down. When I first tried this, I needed some time before I could face the issue again. Now, I just take a brief moment to gather my thoughts, and I am able to return to the situation with more clarity and productive solutions.

My counsellor was also the one who reminded me of my love for drawing, and she was one of the first people I shared my work with. She encouraged me to create a piece for SOS’ Charity Gala Dinner in 2024. Titled “Time’s Everlasting Promise – A Blooming Recovery,” it was put up for auction, and I am grateful that I can now give back and help raise funds for SOS, slowly transitioning from a client to an advocate.

I wish I could say that everything turned into rainbows and butterflies after I started counselling. It didn’t, of course—healing is rarely that simple, but counselling did pave the way for things to become slightly easier. It gave me a space where I could understand myself, feel safe, and start the slow process of rebuilding myself.

Recently, I gave myself a challenge to go four months without a counselling session, just to see how I could manage independently. It was the hardest four months of my life, but I also felt the strongest I have ever been. I realised that I was no longer relying on someone else to hold me together. I had begun to internalise the tools and lessons I had learnt through the counselling process. I was becoming more grounded and resilient.

For anyone reading this who is struggling to get by but isn’t sure whether counselling is for them, I would like to say: just try it. Of course, the first step is that you need to be self-aware enough to know you need help. Once you realise that, you can try talking to a friend or a family member about your problems. But if you have done that and still feel like nobody understands you, then you can try looking for a counsellor. Trust that it’s a safe space, as you can call in or walk in anonymously.

Not every session will feel life-changing, and not every counsellor will be the right fit at the beginning, and that is okay. Counselling is not about quick solutions. It is about consistently showing up for yourself and working with someone who can support you without judgement as you move forward. Above all, counselling reminded me that I am not broken; I am simply human. It provided the support I needed to begin believing in my own strength again.

I have made a commitment to my counsellor to choose conversation over isolation and to never act on my dark thoughts without reaching out to services like 24-hour SOS helplines and talking to her first, and that commitment is significant to me and my healing journey.

As my counselling journey comes to a close, honestly, I am really scared about what life would look like from here. I know that this is not the end of my story. But at the same time, I am also excited about my growth. It is the beginning of a new chapter. Over the many sessions I have had with my counsellor, I feel like I have learnt how to use my emotions in healthier and more constructive ways. It’s like when you are playing a video game, and at first, you are just smashing buttons. But then you start unlocking new skills, and then slowly, you realise that you are levelling up.

I hope that years from now, I will be able to look back and see how far I have come. Not because someone saved me, but because someone believed in me while I was learning to believe in myself. Today, I can genuinely say that I believe in counselling. Not as a miracle, but as a meaningful and transformative process that helped me become the person I am now.

*Name has been changed for privacy.

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